I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
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