PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
i was born a porn star she said
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
