I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
home. puking in laundry basket.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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