no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
