How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Michael Bay diarrhea
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
