he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
You cant give me a fifth of god damn jim beam and expect me not to cheat on my gf.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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