you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
