I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Randomize
