why didn't you poke me back
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Quick, to the slutcave!
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
