dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Last night was epic. Hooked up with Emma Watson, found twenty bucks, and then passed out on my floor.
No you didn't. You drank unbelievable amounts of 151, passed out in someone else's bathroom, and we carried you back to your floor. Nice dreams though.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
