She announced her abortion via fbk
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
and you fell through a lawn chair
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
