no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
