Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
