i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
Randomize
