We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
