repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
