Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
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