Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
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