There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
