Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize
