another moral hangover. fuck.
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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