omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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