i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Randomize
