He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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