wat bout pragnant strippers??
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Randomize
