The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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