3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
Randomize
