Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
