Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Apparently I told the bartender to stop putting ice in my drink because it was taking up too much room
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
Randomize
