Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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