I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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