Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
"just because you look like a short version of scarlet johanson does not mean I would immediately fuck you" that was the single.most difficult thing to say. but seriously I don't want the roots of the whore tree anywhere near my junk.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Randomize
