i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
The struggles of a small town man whore
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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