Midget sex pt 2 tonight
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
