Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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