I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
