I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
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