OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Randomize
