I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
