this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize