I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize