oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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