ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
