Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
