i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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