I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
