Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Randomize