508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
