Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
