Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
