weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
