Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Randomize