I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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