I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
