How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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