I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
