Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
