um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
