Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize