Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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