So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
