it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
