dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
