I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Randomize
