his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
I'm playing wingman, but I want to pull a Goose and die.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
